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Becoming an American Ninja Warrior fan is a journey. The first time you watch an episode is a strange and thrilling experience that quickly descends into total obsession. You’re not alone.
Here’s a sampling of the wild range of thoughts and emotions you can expect with your first Ninja Warrior encounter.
1.) What the heck is this? Why are these humans throwing their bodies at brightly colored torture devices?
2.) I’m not entirely sure why... but I cannot look away.
3.) Why is that person dressed as velociraptor, doing the Dougie, and emitting some kind of war cry? I’m frightened.
4.) Huh. This contestant has overcome incredible physical and emotional setbacks to be be here today. I think I’m like....feeling something.
5.) I’M FEELING A LOT OF THINGS. WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHY AM I CRYING?
6.) How hard could this be? I could do this. These people need to get their acts together and stop falling.
7.) Nope. Nope. Never mind. I could never do this.
8.) I’m suddenly incredibly invested in this athlete and if they fall I will have a break down and need to call out of work tomorrow.
9.) They fell. But I’m weirdly proud of them. Like they’re my own baby. YOU DID GOOD, BB!
10.) OMG. This person is getting really close to that weird buzzer thing!
11.) LIKE REALLY, REALLY CLOSE.
12.) TAKE MY STRENGTH, WARRIOR! I SEND IT TO YOU!
13.) THEY HIT THE BUZZER! THEY FREAKING HIT THE BUZZER!
14.) Wait, why is it over? I need more. I need all the Ninja Warrior.