clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

We’re pretty sure Santa is Ninja training with Geoff Britten

We MIGHT be wrong, but we doubt it.

It makes sense that Santa would be a pretty nimble guy. He’s got to have some grip strength and agility to climb around homes all over the globe in one night. So while the reindeer are working on their endurance training, Santa has to get in the gym as well; the Ninja Warrior gym.

Watch the video above to see Santa take on a Jumping Spider in boots and gloves. There is some slackline-ing and laché attempting in there was well. With a ho, ho, ho, he flies up the Warped Wall. Santa has clearly been Ninja Warrior training for awhile.

Now, we’re not saying we don’t believe in Santa, but we have some questions about this video. Take a look at the name of YouTube account that uploaded the clip.

That’s right. It’s Geoff Britten. As in the first American Ninja Warrior competitor to clear all four stages of the National Finals and score six buzzers in a season. The Geoff Britten who might be coming back for season 11.

There’s no way Geoff could be Santa, right? He doesn’t really fit the physical description we’ve come to know as Santa. We’ve thoroughly checked his Instagram account and there are no hints of elves or reindeer. We’re pretty sure his family and friends would notice if he went missing on December 24 every year.

However, Geoff DID move from Maryland to Colorado... which is closer to the North Pole. But maybe it was to work with a celebrity client...

Fulham FC v West Ham United - Premier League Photo by Catherine Ivill/Getty Images

A celebrity client who travels by sleigh, meaning it’s easier for him to get around if there’s snow. And what happens in Colorado all the time? SNOW. This is science, people.

After examining all the evidence, there is clearly only one explanation: Geoff Britten is Santa’s Ninja coach. Don’t try to convince us otherwise. We’re pretty set on this one. Bye.